I want to spend October with you, because it’s
my favorite month and happens during my
favorite season. I wish we could aimlessly
walk around a forest and with each leaf that
falls from the branches above, we fall a little
more for each other too. While hand in hand
we can crave the smell of warm coffee and
cinnamon muffins on a chilly morning, we
could feel the autumn breeze brush against
our skin and the goose bumps we get, we
won’t be able to tell if it’s from touching each
other’s skin or from the wind being too cool.
When we lay in bed you’d have the hardest
time moving an inch away from me, because
I’d want to be skin to skin every minute.
These lonely summer nights without you make
me crave the fall, and crave the season of
death in the hopes that maybe this loneliness
would die too, and you’d appear by my side.
I can’t tell if I love the night too dearly, or
hate it too passionately. I think I’d adore
it if I got to sleep next to you every evening,
and I think that I’d enjoy the sunset more
watching it hit your face than actually
seeing it say goodnight. I just crave to
spend time with you, I do.
i.c. // October  (via flowersinyourhair8)
41,657 notes

my older sister never saw this world and
sometimes i think my momma still cries about it
when nobody can hear how bad it hurt her

this is a cold universe that
lets us love things which
can be ripped from our grasp
without a moment’s notice

yesterday i told a student, “bad things sometimes happen
and that’s just the way it is,” and he said
“why”

and i think maybe we’re all trying to answer that
in our own way but all i know is
all the good books have the main character
struggle before they succeed and
i know maybe you deserve it easy but
all i can think is that
bad things happen because you’re
strong enough to survive them
even if you don’t think
you could be

i want to believe everything really does
happen for a reason even
sad things
i really want to believe that
space could have been completely empty
but even in all that awful chill
the stars fashioned themselves
out of nothing but their own combustion
and i really want to believe
supernovas
don’t just cause destruction
because after all, we are all only the result
of a terrible
explosion

maybe we are all just
small solar systems and
in order to expand beyond our horizons
we must first become singularities within
ourselves, maybe none of this
helps

i just want you
to be okay i’m just so sorry
i don’t know what to say.

Written for my friend who told me about her miscarriage. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
2,032 notes

the late nights will be filled with orange juice and vodka but
when your eyes meet hers i know you’re gonna fall
and galaxies will collide inside your bloodstream
because she’s all that you want and all that you’ll be

and baby
i’ll remember you on the nights where
there’s not enough oxygen inside my bones again
when i’ve got trouble breathing because
i want your lips pressed against my skin in
the same way they’ll
never be again

and i know her perfume will smell like roses because
you always loved the things that came with thorns and
i know that she’ll make you laugh until your sides ache
and you’ll want her more than you can say

and baby
you’ll forget all about how i used to be the only person
who could calm you down about anything or how
on an august night you promised you would love me
until the sun died

you’ll love her and baby
this will all seem like a soft blow
because it’s been so long since we crumbled
that i don’t even know if these ruins
were ever home

and you’ll love her baby because
you’ve got a heart as good as gold
and you’ll love her baby and

i’ll sit here remembering
how i used to be
yours.

you burned us down /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
1,956 notes

i came to you when i was still chewing on the graphite of another boy’s poems, still drowning in the ink splotches he left along my collarbones, still flinching every time someone raised their voice and

the first time we talked it scared me how easily i could fold myself into your sentences and the first time we got drunk together i remember lying beside you just barely touching and still feeling like maybe i belonged here for the rest of eternity

how did you take a girl with a heart so black she couldn’t get it to beat how did you make her finally feel complete

you eased open the places i was hurting and cut yourself removing all of my thorns and good god i am a tinderbox and ready to catch on fire but you’re the only person who has ever made me feel warm so

just know that where you are is where i am home.

"The little voice in me who used to tell me “This isn’t the right guy” has been silent ever since we met, and this is the longest relationship I ever had. I so truly hope this one will last.” // r.i.d (via inkskinned)
2,161 notes

how i will love you: my hands are shaky so i cannot carry two things at once without risking one of them dropping. i will bring your hot cocoa all the way from the kitchen to the couch before i go back to get my own. you will say, “you’re missing it” but i will watch you blindly take a sip of Nesquik’s magic blend and this to me will be more comforting than all of the explosions of the terrible action movie we’ve dedicated the past half hour to.

how i will love you: with sirens in my teeth that sob about everything. you will ask why i clench my jaw when i sleep, i will tell you that the nightmares are back and they are hunting. i have the ashes of burned forest coursing through my bloodstream. there are days where you will kiss me and you will taste nothing but screams.

how i will love you: i will read aloud your horoscope before mentioning mine. i will only tell you the dreams where you are the main character or if imaginary you and i made out a lot and bought ice cream. i will make you sandwiches, but only if you ask nicely. i will offer you my coat even though it would never fit you and i’m only wearing one layer underneath. i will worry about you, because i worry about everything.

how i will love you: you will not hear from me on the worst nights, because sadness makes my words go silent. you will have to hunt for the evidence that i’m ready to die in fractured unsure sentences that are entirely devoid of light. you will know me for my tidal waves: that i pull back into my ocean entirely before i spill over and ruin everything. i cannot commit you to being my anchor. i will hide from you and think that this is how i save you.

how i will love you: one day i will tell you about where the scars are from and we will count them. there will be a lot more than you can see because not all of my scars are on the outside of me. and if after this you can still kiss me in all honesty, i will tie together universes to bring you whatever you want or need.

how i will love you: my hands will shake and sometimes i will come apart at the seams. you will probably occasionally wonder if the world will end before i stop talking. i will steal all of your comfy clothing. i will try to adopt more plants than you feel comfortable owning. i will occasionally demand silence while i pick a corner and read. i cannot promise i will be perfect or even close to the person that you need. i can only say that when i’m having cake, i will save you the last piece.

how i will love you: entirely. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
3,235 notes
As humans, we ruin everything we touch, including each other.
― (via mermaidsongs)
3,806 notes